the ferret!

that day....
the cry of the wolf,
was not just a cry.
it was the,most serene sound
that had ever,ruptured in my ear.

that day...
the surrealism of salvador dali,
froze me in "time".
making the "persistence"
seem,more real than ever.

that day...
after a quite,quiet fight,
Rashed crawled upto me...
and murmered,
"...smile..."in my ear
fillin me with fulfilment n endeavour.

that day...
i realized,i have always been my own shadow.
i have been a million peolple
not just one.
headin towards infinity,and living on favour.

the expository scene...***

2 hrs to dawn,
i am running from home.
you'll be happy to know,
this time i got drunk alone.
lost it,
lost the remaining emotions.
inturn,
missining on some good ones.
letme wrap it up,
with an exhumed frown.

sometimes.
at times when i think of you,
i think of,
how i have lost more than "a few".
i cant help.
cant help but cry,
letting,
the wet feelings run dry.
letme board it,
the train to downtown.

the zephyr...
again its mocking my strife.
i wish,
this wasnt my life.
i bet.
bet,that you wish the same.
wishing that,
you could change your name
letme try,
and show you how to drown.

fine...
i know that i havent been sober.
ecstasy,
it was the ecstasic scent of burnt clover.
out there,
i'll be searching for a reason
meanwhile,
dont let go if its not your season.
letme steal,
your red hatred and make it brown.

footsteps>across the universe...

you turned around.
a brief smile escaped your lips,
u left me on the swing,
the girl with the apple red klips.


i wouldnt let go
of your mild cherry scent
but i realized there werent
anymore "together" days,left to be spent.


the light-blue breeze
carried your unbroken voice,
which froze us in time
and left us no other choice.


i bent down to see
what had just kissed my hand,
they were promises from you,
from some faraway land.


the twinkle in your blackest eyes
entrapped me,that noon
it told me,"wait for me,
and I will see YOU soon."

*spare...

you mis-pronounced my name
ebon darkness cumbered your shame.
your tribal dance,
befuddled my stance.
u leapt-once,twice,thrice....
yet,failing to batten the rolling dice.
then i lost count...

u ran forward,and came to a halt
i took a step backward,
not realising my fault.
your nose,was an inch from mine
and then you,drew a line.
"mercy,my angel...this isnt her",
i distinctly,heard you murmer.

you let out a racous scream
and made me realize,this wasnt a dream.
you were DEATH...
or maybe you,werent.
whoever,you were....
you,provoked me to live on
with a smile,which will last..
till the end of the breaking dawn.(self-defence)

stagnation of a *bubble...

CHILDHOOD IS NOT FROM BIRTH TO A CERTAIN AGE,AND "AT" A CERTAIN AGE:

tangible dreams.
strings of a,b,c,d....
eye spy-hunting treks.
forceful mango showers.
being a member of "sahara" family.
runny noses,peeing off-guard.
re-runs of "dekh bhai dekh".
waking up 2 friends screamin at me,for delaying our game.
screenings of bruno and simon birch.
and devoting my "study time" to mary poppins,anasthesia,pochahontas,antz,aristrocats and POOH!!!(sperms)



THE CHILD "IS" GROWN,AND PUTS AWAY CHILDISH THINGS:

PAST.
beginning,givin way 2 an ending-to a "triode" friendship.
walks in leaf carpeted alleys from 9-9:30pm,wid skipping heartbeats.
meaningful hugs,and lip-smacking pickles from didu!
11th june.buntane."life-long-sister".
terrace addas.cloud catchings.
"all play and no work" ISA meetings.
impatient "prolonged" waitings in principal's office.
orange city lights against pitch black canvas.
dawn struck park-circus.
"up and down" wranglings,regarding script writing.
winter silence.
silent screams.
midnight song dedications,prior to icse.
cursing humanity,for creating such "heavy" histories.
transformation of my bedsheet into a world-map,dotted with high and low pressure regions.(for geography exam.
beginig of another heart-touching "triode"friendship.
29th march.
wondering about "accidents" and my "accidental existence"
surrenders,as midnight shoulder...
waiting for the tie to be handed and knotted.
arousings.
alas!!!breaking a few promises and hearts.
(sperms)



CHILDHOOD IS THE KINGDOM WHERE,NOBODY DIES:

PRESENT----
oblique dreams.
shinchan.
"butterflies in stomach" seeing,someone.
waiting for harry potter book release,which is never going to happen,again.
carbon compounds.
vexing vectors.
spinnin spiryogyara.
.........................and...ALAAAS!!!THE "MARQUEE ATTRACTIONIST"---bilawaal.....bilawaal bhutto!*drools*
so what if i havent joined"dont kill him coz he's hot"-like communities in facebook...
i can still manage,to like him"quietly" cant i?
(sperms)


conclusion---i grew up...surrounded by sperm models/stuffed toys/sperm t-shirts/sperm magz/n more....n more of "spermed" stuff...thanks to my mother's existence as a succesful,doctor!

a lemon yellow afternoon...

...and only if you are yellow,enough
will it whisper to you
inbetween muffled coughs,
"i have the strength to carry you"...
it will follow,
shadowing your steps until they fade
halo-ing you,with the lemon
of afternoon shades.

it will leave,no strings "unattached"
no promises will be snatched...
yet it would owe you,nothing in return
it will show you dreams and make you earn
a way for the
deeper understanding of each day.

the old man,
(who comes often in every touching song,and story...)
blackened with the ghost of the sun
wizened with age,would smile,
while...
the willy wonka of the 49th street
would dance upon the concrete
his dejection
captured by elation
atlast he had the sun-shine
which he could call "mine"!

she sat by the staircase,
with a red ribbon in hand
listening to the pomp
of the marriage-party-band.
it made her wishful,
she was waiting for her turn
but the noon told her,
she was yet to learn.

here and there,
loners,lovers,friends,
families,and even maker-of-trends...
all are estranged in this worldly hell,
captured by the "lemon-yellow"spell!
if it makes them happy...
then why does it make you sad?
if it makes them SO cheerful
it must ,aswell,...make you glad!

through and out---of the chaosphere...****

blah blah blah!!!!...dhicchikk dhichhiiikkkkkk!
hang on...am not morbid,worried,or revengeful now...PREVIOUSLY I WAS,n t'was important for me to reflect wat i was feeling.
n the only way 4 me 2 do dat, was-2 write behind my chem copy,which(due to its lack of chem equations n prblems,in it)...has been the victim of my,drotted emotions for pretty,sometime!!!!oderwise,i cant bare to snatch the peaceful slumber frm the eyes of my snoring sister,wid the sound of harmony,of my fits of "breaking cacophony"!!!!

well,i LOVE echoing my anger thru poems(they neednt b adored 4,they barely represent to u)
and its ok,if u dont like 'em....
COZ U R NOT S'PPOSD 2!....nd for ur xtra knowledge
i wud suggest that u can listen to the ceiling fan(only if it hasnt been oiled,for a long tym)....if u're tryin ur best 2 avoid the sound of snores!....

ummm....btw,its nawt dat,am a bra-burning feminist(am nt sure,whether dis term xists or not)but..i wud lyk 2 put forward my views across to ppl...hu think...girls are all about-playin wid barbies/cosmetix/fashion magazines/n gossip.......!!!
blieve me,I CAN KICK UR ASS,BETTER THAN THE BOYFRIEND OF UR CRUSH WUD EVER BE ABLE TO kick it!........"serious-talk" apart.......have u evr seen a TIYAMUKHO GIRGITI(PARROT FACED CHAMAELEON)????....

btw,to MY lonely gay---ur a gay,SO UR NAWTT S'PPOSD 2 UNDERSTAND MY CONFLICTING EMOTIONS!!!
n to my BEMUSED GIT---u hav olredy had ur share of collision,wid none ODER DAN POTTY,.......SO ITS EASY 4 U 2 SAY...WATEVR U had SAID!!!(BAZAZOO...BUJAKOO...WATEVR it WAS)

Hmmmm....WATCH OUT FOR MORE OV DOSE rustic duddy poems...*I CAN SEE D LOOK UPON UR FACE....so i sympathise wid u,n i promise nawtta write 'em down agen!!!*

p.s>>>to people who are confused(dat WUD BE QUITE A NUMBER)....dnt try 2 untie-ur CCONFUSED KNOTS...coz its useless....n u wudn loose nethin if u r unable 2 decipher dis post!n...I JUST REALIZED,DAT A PERSON I had LIKED(4 only a coupla days)WAS AXUALLY A "GRAMMO-DHANROSH"(village-ladies-finger).................SHAME ON ME!!!

my orkut fortune says--"ur talented in many ways"....after a long spell of"serious trouble will bypass u"....YUPPPY!!!!

"your hunger".

if i were a sweeper,i wouldn't be...
cleaning around
empty bottles,lost n found.
"VISITING HOURS" are over now,
and you should think about...
how you broke your vow.
i dont wanna be your fractured heart
so,u better stitch up the hole urself n part...
lest,should i know
what are you hungry for!

if i were a doctor
i wouldn't be bandaging
your wounds,boy.
let the antiseptic lick it
and you better hurry down the lane
before your other clinic
closes n shuts the window panes...
i do know
what are you hungry for!

if i were a pseudonym
i wouldn't be you.
i would be rummaging around
for "missing emotions"
and not your crooked dictions,
i can imagine how,
you must be feeling now
slouching against life,itself
crying out for non-existent help...
and i still know
what are you hungry for!


if i was a bottom drawer,
i wouldn't be hiding your secrets
the white noise,
makes me hate your poise'...
so show me the back door
and then you can call in your whore.
yet,if i show up,
DO thank me cause...
i WILL manage to remember
what are you hungry for!

if.............

If I were a beginning, I would be:-the end
If I were a month, I would be:-april
If I were a day of the week, I would be :– Friday
If I were a time of day, I would be: - 4.3o am
If I were a planet, I would be:-venus
If I were a season, I would be:-The onset of monsoon
If I were a sea animal, I would be:- A polar bear
If I were a direction, I would be:-south-west
If I were a piece of furniture, I would be:- An arm chair
If I were a sin, I would be:-pagan passion
If I were a liquid, I would be:-a cognac shot.
If I were a fraud/scare, I would be:- A divongee.
If I were a gem, I would be:-opal
If I were a tree, I would be:- mahogany
If I were a tool, I would be :-A swiss army knife
If I were a flower/plant, I would be :-lavendar
If I were a kind of weather, I would be:-A thunderstorm
If I were a musical instrument, I would be:- A saxophone
If I were an animal, I would be:-a baby panda
If I were an emotion, I would be:-hate
If I were a vegetable, I would be:-A brinjal
If I were a sound, I would be:- the sound of pouring rain.
If were an element, I would be:-water.
If I were a car, I would be:-Lamborghini Diablo.
If I were a song, I would be:-sad but true
If I were a food, I would be:-steak(bitter sweet saucy)
If I were a place, I would be:-cambridge country-side
If I were a material, I would be:-cotton.
If I were a taste, I would be:-toxic.
If I were a scent, I would be:-jadore
If I were a religion, I would be:-nothing

If I were a sentence, I would be:-"its not always rainbows n butter-flies,its compromising that moves us along"/"dont judge a wiseman-by the colour of his skin"/"my heart's lyk an open book,4 the whole world to read".........

If I were a body part, I would be:-A toe.
If I were a facial expression, I would be:-the xpression on the face of a teen-ager wen he or she recieves the 1st n UNEXPECTED kiss,4m d opposite sex.
If I were a subject in college, I would be:-animation
If I were a shape, I would be:-pyramid!!
If I were a quantity, I would be:- Infinity+1..
If I were a colour, I would be:-Black
If I were a thing, I would be:-a walking stick
If I were a landmass, I would be:-Indian peninsula
If I were a book, I would be:-choice by nicholas sparks
If I were a monument, I would be:-The trafalgar square
If I were an artist, I would be:-myself
If I were a collection of poems, I would be:-Wilderness and American Night by Jim Morrison
If I were a landscape, I would be:-a sloping green meadow
If I were a watch, I would be.- punctual!
If I were God, I would be:-clueless
If I were a vowel, I would be: I
If I were a consonant, I would be:V
If I were a formula, I would be:-complex
If I were a Science, I would be:-Physics
If I were a famous person, I would be.:-oprah winfrey
If I were an electronic equipment, I would be:-a grinder
If I were sport, I would be:-para-sailing
If I were a movie, I would be:-a beautiful mind.
If I were a cartoon, I would be:-pooh!
If I were a scientist, I would be:-Einstein
If I were a relation, I would be:-A friend
If I were alone, I would be:- non-existent
If I were a question, then I would be:-"am i that scared of life?"
If I were a hobby, I would be:-diggin further in2 music
If I were a habit, I would be:-helping
If I were in an atom, I would be:-francium
If I were an end, I would be:-The Beginning!
If I were you, I would be:-wanting to put this quiz on my own blog!

if u puke,think of birthday gifts.
and dont have omlette.and if u hav an exam the next day,dont think of studying,the previous day.and by chance,u end up in the school sanatorium,dont think of attending the chemistry practicals.NEVER!...and act startled with every word spoken to you!
u will decipher the meaning,once you are "green" enough!

A...LeAFeD LiFE.

her inscrutablity,made her antiquity different.
she was the sight of blind,
the altruism of the kind.
she was the ecstasy of a lover,
the smile of a sufferer,
she was the taste of nature,
an antagonist for future.
unprecedented,in her colossal"ity"
and jaded by her own obscurity.
she had been burried alive,
in this foresaken woods.
her eyes were defeated by trusted lies.
she might have been evil,
feasting on blood...
washing herself clean
in a tumultous flood.
branches had her in a poisoned embrace
yet her face bestowed a pained grace.
but her patience
made her wait,this long.
she died a mannequin
singing an "untuned" song.


p.s---its nothing but a rush of adrenaline,influenced by a dream of woodnymph
in school bus....the "untuned song" being the runnings of traffic,and the "pained grace" being the morning blues!

vIGILENT vENTURE!!!

why is it,that-my diligent-ism is never seen over my indolent-ness?
if by chance u r thinking that again dejection has overcome me,ur makin A MISTAKE.A GRAVE MISTAKE.
my zeal,is on high run,as it is 1am,my "bliss"intended time.
a brief account on what has been keepin me busy---
1."exfoliating" dead sea mud mask>>>it smells good,but looks lyk horse poop.it had repeatedly warned the buyers "do NOT experiment this product on animals".but as usual,i dint bother to follow their advice,and look at me now*my only consolation is,u CANT look at me,now*...my face is puffed,red and framed with purple blemishes here n there(thats exaggeration,but whats life without some extra garnishes?)

2.walnut scrub and hot water>>>>.i had been pointed out by my dear "winking"friend*no particular reason for his eccentric behaviour*that my feet needs immidiate care,as it very much resembels the warty dry skin,of a toad!(he's mean,i know).hence,regarding his "pointed out fact",am tryin my best to smother down the warts and make my feet look "human".

3.chocolate pudding>>>>.its not my damn fault.they said its FAT FREE!

4.ritz>>>>.well,he thinks,1 leech has high chance of being attracted to another leech(of the opposite sex),even if they are married,with kids and they have a "teaching job"!

5.heart of a dragon>>>>.its all about dragonforce's "funky" chants!

speaking of funky,never dare to go to a parlour and let the hairdresser"play with your hair" if you want a "funky" look!dey will DESTROY U.poor "funky monky"suffered a LOT,in skool today!
"funky monkey,sitting on a tree,
funky monkey,on a fucking spree.
she fell on a donkey,...
donkey died,
but she,lied,
saying it wasnt her "bluddy" fault!"

so if u are,adroit enough.....do NOT bemoan ur condition,
and be ready to face a distorted aversion.*sorry for being "this" heavy*

p.s>i am done with the pedicure,topped it up with glittering purple colourings,and needless to say my feet are lookin more heidious than,EVER!

Mulberry secrets of the blueberry picker...

snowflakes on sand,
lingering dreams,
wall flower's last walk,
hand in hand!

the blueberry picker,
ate more than she could possibly, pick.
her fingers tangled with
the sticky blue spell
made her rapt and
she was about to lick..........

the story has ended.dont ask me to go on.
yet i choose to tell u...

they chased her like coyotes,
she ran n ran n ran,
they ran behind.
she fell,on the rubble
they still ran,
to get the "fallen her".

she cringed,
mulberry blood,oozed from
deep within her....
blood of innocence
blood of despair
blood of anguish
blood of hatred...
she bled,bled
and bled...until there was no more to bleed.

mesmerized by her state,
the wilderness cursed her fate,
even the cusp mocked at her,
shouted at her for being so beautiful.
for surrendering herself
as a human's tool....

their words crawlin on her skin,
she was blamed,blamed for being sacrificed,
blamed for giving way to sin
she had been wasted,cnquered and yet,
....wasted away
there's nothing left of her....
not even the pride of being a mother...

they tore her,relished her
entered her,wasted her,
took away every bit of her,
even her faith!
she was lilith-
the "broken"daughter
of the night and darkness.

their paevan rose her to her senses.
she was yearning to die.
to hide her mulberry secrets.
she had been the prey...
it had coloured her life
in every shades of gray.
torn into pieces
by a joke called-humanity
she had lost belief in integrity.
her ashes gathered in whirling shapes
against the,once..."star-spangled"sky...
leaving behind a mark of their--sacrilege.


she returned,armoured by her lost innocence

----this was written after a prolonged thought
triggered by dream theatre's "through her eyes".

% of guilt-flation...

t'was tuesday.1:05am.
drooling over "open-eyed" dreams.its fun...believe me.
u can axually see and interpret wat u see.to be more precise,they arent dreams but illusions....something u want 2 happen...something u really crave for...to take place.

for example,i was thinking about the 5th glass of beriblast,n 6th shot of chilly-sherry lindt chocolates....ended up in a pool OF BERRYBLAST...where lifeguards were wearing lindt chocolates around their necks,on their heads in the shape of coronets,n here n there on their body to cover "certain parts,they chose to keep private".how AMAZED I WAS!some1 called quits n back i was,staring at my fake "gucci" printed pillow-cover!never knew,that in melas they bother to sell such "branded" n xpensive stuff!moreover does gucci take pride in making them?????

"crunches"!!!!belive me,dey dont make u menstruate....it makes u chumm(pre menstrual spasms),...u know wat,...dats worse!!!!but still,doing them gives u a "certain amount" of pseudo satisfaction n false hopes of shedding tyres of "needless" fats!!!*wait up,lemme catchup on a few o' dem*....



THERE....
dat was tiring,yet SATISFYING!

what "xactly" does bryan adams mean by saying..."when u CAN see ur unborn children in her eyes,YOU KNOW YOU REALLY LOVE A WOMAN"....
huh????how?i mean....what is he trynna pose the "fairer sex" as?...some "baby-producing"machine?wat if a woman does noy have the capacity to be fertile...A GUY WOULDNT LOVE HER FOR WAT SHE IS????.....the baby's everything?....errr,he woudnt even bother 2 understand,how it feels,to go through the 9 month-pain-period....!am nawtta male-basher...but dis is so,RI-DDDDI-CU-LUSSS!

anyway,as for bryan adams....he sings well.n btw,am going through this -relating-songs-to-me-phase...n i really love to relate songs to my friends n me...especially the coldplay-grinding u-kinda songs!influenced by the "line-tific-dotted"language...i have taken to writing down pieces of names and so on.i have been"crushed"(not by a bull-dozer,somethin much more significant)....for the 1st tym in my life.its hell...so silly,but yet u feel mushed!i had loved him....my dear "nutini"boy.....but he turned out to be obsessed wid his "sex-obssessd"g-girlfriend!!!!it pains me in all the "wrong" places to think bout him...so i WONT...!!!HU GIVS A DAMN?

ERRRRRRRR....atleast am nawtt obssessed with "anyone"..or "sex"....am a good girl,nawt in2 the "infatuating"level....YET!

?

can life,treat you so harshly at times?
u would say,its testing me,n preparing me 2 bare hardships
n exel,wid cconfidence.
i am so scared...so damn scared of telling,
wat feeling is lingering over me,entering n re-entering me with
greater force....i am scared of saying..."i am scared".
is it really that hard?...
am asphixiated wid thoughts of future/thoughts-of why people
never see me,for what i am but for who i am?......dey never really try u noe!....

*SnApsTAr*

look at me.
you see,what?
dont tell me,you see smoke.
smoke which is purple n perfumed...
it has ended.
the end,has brought us to yet another,begining
it had been painful.
but yet,i needed to see it.
you,too.
what were you playin at?

that's past.
not exactly.u still,scurry past me
tryin to rupture a well-rehearsed talk.
a feeble gesture,i may say.
u betrayed,betrayal itself.
would you ever live in peace?
kid,you are screwd!screwed,badly enough.

listenin to hard metal,pacifies your mind?
deep down,being a rock junkie...is being the cool-kind,eh?
a sip of vodka,a drag of smoky flame...wont help.
watchin porn,n using the word- "fuck"...wont help either.
imagining,your end to being a virgin
listenin 2 hetfield's hash rash....
is that what you looked forward to?
all this while?
shame on you.
u messed it!messed it real hard.

the relation,has snapped.
u.me.stuck in reverse.
who are you?
rather,i should ask myself,what are you?
an attention crazy looser?
a looser who lies,cheats,
n what more,u deny having done so.
u fucked it up.
u have no right to walk into someone else's life
n try to fuck her life up,as well.
looser.u love being a looser.
u lost it!lost it,forever.

actually its not in your nature
to share a true and honest part of yourself with me.
you are nothing but a hippocrite,
sheltered by glittering shades of lies and essence of pseudo love.
'love'.thats another thing i should have never associated with you.
strumming your guitar,playin loadsa heart wrenching,romantic songs
in your husky voice.
its not the way,kid.
nor is your moistened touch on my lips,
really entralling.
what relly,helped me associate with you...
were our warm hugs.
i suppose,the warmth extracted from deep within me
mingled with your controlled lust...
made a better couple,than we both did.
well,i'll miss that.only that.
anyway,you know what?
i hope you do---
u suck!u suck big time.

i dont really care.
my mind's in a jeopardized situation.
lemme,tame some sleep.
there.AGAIN...you wont let me!
see,thats what you do,fallen negotiator.
i hate your smile,
that smile,u secretly smile....
thinking u are tearing me apart.
u could have done,better than that.
there's no escape,no mercy....
no remorse.
i can see your dark contensions,baby.
get your stinnking self outta my way....
u wont?WHAT...you wont?
dont,then!i'll get you out,anyway!

am high on mystic drugs.
crying out to no one in particular...
"take me away...sway sway sway"
dosent mek much sense.
does it?
we,all of us.
are such wannabes.
23 times!still you are calling!
dont you realize,that i want you to leave me alone?
ofcourse u do!!!

"night!"enough of putting up,with your pretences
and my drama-queen attitude.
get some sleep,and in your dreams(if you are lucky enough to have them)
have a better life,
thats all,that i can gift u...
a small prayer for your dreams tocome true...
someday...anyday,
someway...anyway.
this is worse,dont make it worse-"er".

a "slight" night!

19th.11:23pm.black dimond-skiing thru my ears,inevitably bringin an overwhelmin sensation over my tired body.am bad at xpressin wat i really feel(seldom,is my feelin-real..n nawt sumthin related 2 stark-un-real)...am good at "over-xpressin"myself.i cud've done wid a tequila shot.my"mostly"relaxed mind's troubling me now.
gonna lissen 2 nytwish,now.....currently am addicted 2 their female vocalist's-gothic-opera-oriented voice.....white night fantasy.........oooooooooooooooo........amaranth.....maddening........---"u believe,but wat u see?u recieve,but wat u give"?......I STILL BELIVE...N HELL,I GIVE AWAY....LOADS..MOSTLY,ITS MY PAPER HEART,WHICH FLIES OF 2 ODERS!

something remains...

MIRACLES ARE BOUND TO HAPPEN, AS WE PROCEED.....not ANY that I am sure of, or aware of....its just that...I want to believe in this idea. am I crazy?phlegmatic?lackadaisical?weird?????????....or is it that I have been betrayed by my own existence? my action are purified of greed, at least I think so....I try to stand tall even when the power of my justice blows me away. I'm not a good writer, nor have I the power to motivate and mutilate the minds of people like mark antony had, had. I am no superstar. not even a significant character. but I always satiate myself by posing myself as a multiplex of talents,and queen of confidence...infrnt of this world, whereas, I am no good than any other ordinary teenager! burdened down with heavy tricks of life, called problems...!TRAUMATIZED? am I?...or is it just a pseudo appearance,I put up...to gain sympathy in the eyes of other fellow sapiens?....well, can I be frank and truthful 4 once?...I've been bluffing, since I started writing this nonsense regarding -my life and 'mere' existence.
I KNOW AM DIFFERENT. I've been made 2 believe this...I know every child is special, but I am indeed WEIRD ND FAR AWAY 4M BEING ORDINARY. believe me. I love my life-and cant b depressed over sum incident which has brushed its 'forehead' against mine.I want 2 live life,BREATHE life!....I know cant b freed 4m this jinxed phenomena called life...NOR IS IT, THAT I WANT 2!

MY age guides me that I am right, and I was never and will never be ready 2 back down n defy a challenge! sometimes I am nothing but an obsolete person whom I myself don’t know, and ‘am not able to understand. May be, the blame goes to my age, my aura but I am entangled in my own web,circumnavigating my own mind. Gosh! The way I reflect bout my life is becoming difficult. I don't want to be back in that state, when I had dared 2 fall in love, so I have bashed my stact and yet I am giving way 2 d same old, odd feelings, again. life's a journey not a destination, and we meet different people...whose different charismatic features, wins over us and makes us feel pacified with sum talks and compliments. I take, some time, of...and recall about my past relations, but now.....I play games, I don't know.i have analyzed it,all. and YES, its sum1 I always avoid, the one, I was once angry upon has brought back relief in my veins, for no original power is left in me. I pray, thee......if there is someone, anyone who is divine-guide me, and make me clear in mind and yet again guide me 2 something u like, just 2 give me satisfaction, because salvation, I know, its too much 2 ask for.

MY past relations has burnt and burnt me, with full throttle that itself has never ever thought!!!!I try hard and harder...but I am weak. Seeing this world,
I don’t know why I care bout some, the ones I'd never ever paid attention 2 or even better, I have never ever thought about. I don’t know again, If I am mad, Or mad is this world, But the motive behind everything, Appears the same. happiness? its a mere illusion. And pain? being stuck in this jungle Jim of life, When life itself, Is still lost in smoke pain is a feeling that takes charge of or mind! How one finds out someone, Among these woods, To share the truths, and yet Lie to that" someone", still???!all the feelings flush over my brow, the emotions all appear 2 me as same, running alongside my name.i don't know where I am going 2 find, my that,"some1".i am entitled 2 all d choices....but it was 2oo far 4 me 2 judge n trust my feelings. I don't know again, if I am the fool trying 2 play it cool when a shockwave manages 2 throw me off guard! but still I know one thing. I WILL WAIT ND WAIT ND WAIT. AND ITS A PROMISE not 2 ne1 but my very own. and my WAIT will come 2 b very true sometime, when the pitch blackness of night would b conquered by the dreams of a considerable dreamer.....